Her Memory
by SkyeRose
Summary: While visiting a planet, Sam is rendered unconscious and immediately rushed back to the SGC. When she wakes up she can't remember who she is, but as Jack begins to talk to her...interesting memories surface. Better than it sounds, I promise. Sam/Jack!
1. Chapter 1

Her Memory

**Her Memory**

**Disclaimer: Only my stuff is mine. The rest is I'm just borrowing. Frick.**

**A/N: Okay, third SG-1 fic…deep breath. Let me tell you something, writing Sg-1 fic is nerve-wrackingly hard. I am very nervous about writing them, but I love the characters too damn much. My stories could never be as good as the real thing, but…it gives me 'closure' to write them. **

**So, here goes…please R&R! But no flames…they hurt my feeling. Not plural. My feeling is very sensitive. ******

**Spoilers for (in the order they appear)—'Solitudes,' 'Into the Fire,' 'The Serpent's Venom,' 'In the Line of Duty,' 'Divide and Conquer,' 'Beneath the Surface,' 'Metamorphosis,' 'Descent,' 'Secrets,' 'Entity,' 'Jolinar's Memories,' and 'Grace.'**

**I embellished the scene from 'Jolinar's Memories' a little bit. Nothing else is different.**

**Set sometime in the seventh season. **

**ENJOY!!**

The temple was in ruins. The stone walls that once stood tall, now lay crumbled and broken. The parts still standing were jagged excuses for a sidewalk. However, further back in the ruins one wall stood whole. On it were the remnants of the language of a long forgotten city. Symbols adorned the stone that, to the inexperienced eye, would just look like pretty pictures.

Good thing Dr. Daniel Jackson's eyes were experienced.

"Jack, do you know what this means?" Daniel asked staring in awe at the wall.

Jack looked at him. "Uh…no." He felt Carter shift beside him. "Carter? Do you?"

Sam looked up at the wall and ran her hand over the symbols. She shook her head slightly and glanced at him. "They look…familiar, but…I don't know what they mean." She looked at Daniel who was kneeling down running his fingers over the pictures. "Daniel?"

"Huh? What?" Daniel looked up startled. "Oh, right…sorry." He said sheepishly. "The writing on the wall resembles the writings we found on P4A-997."

When both officers just stared at him he clarified. "Well, 'we' meaning me and SG-5. P4A-997 was a deserted planet that we went to about three years ago. We found ruins just like this and writings that match these."

"Goa'uld?" Jack wondered aloud.

"No." Daniel paused looking back at the ruins. "We never figured out what culture these writings belonged to."

"Ah." Jack said leaning back on his heels. "So…?"

"So," Daniel said with a hint of exasperation. "Maybe there will be more clues here."

"And that would mean…?" Jack prompted.

"It means, maybe we can figure out who built this place." Daniel smiled his 'kid in candy store' smile.

"Okay." Jack said sounding like he couldn't care less.

"Sir," Sam jumped in, catching onto what Daniel was alluding to. "Maybe these symbols can help us defeat the Goa'uld."

Jack met her eyes and raised his eyebrows. "Bit of a _long_ shot, don't cha think?"

Sam closed her eyes briefly. "Sir, we should take any help we can get."

"Doesn't it say something that the temples are in _ruins_? Like maybe they couldn't fight the snakes?" He pointed out still looking at his second in command.

"Or maybe they found themselves in a similar situation to ours." Sam said looking back at him. "Maybe they pissed off the Goa-uld because they found something that would be effective against them."

"Then why didn't they use it?" Jack questioned.

Carter bit her lip. "Maybe they didn't have time to. The Goa'uld could have taken them by surprise."

"In which case, their ideas for defeating the Goa'uld could still be here." Daniel finished looking between Sam and Jack.

Jack sighed considering them. "Alright. You've got two hours. Whatever you don't translate here, we'll translate back on the base. Teal'c and I will keep an eye out. Keep in radio contact."

"Yes sir." Carter said turning back to the ruins.

"Have fun…" he said sarcastically as he turned and walked out of the ruins.

Daniel gave Sam a slightly exasperated look and Sam smiled. "You can't blame him for thinking this is a waste of time. It _is_ a long shot."

"I know, but it's fascinating." Daniel said smiling at the wall again.

Sam grimaced good-naturedly. "Yeah…that's the word I'd use." She teased.

"Now you're starting to sound like him." Daniel said lightly, though he knew the impact of his comment. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam duck her head and blush. He also noticed the small smile that tugged on the corners of her mouth. After knowing those two for seven years…he could read them like a book.

Collecting herself, she pseudo-glared at him. "Thanks Daniel. I appreciate that." Her voice was ripe with sarcasm, but there was a thread of truth as well.

"I know you do." He said seriously turning to face her.

Sam stared at him, her eyes wide. "Daniel…"

Daniel smiled. "Relax." He said. "Forget I said anything." Sam nodded.

Daniel turned back to the wall and a comfortable silence fell over them. Daniel was muttering to himself, consulting his texts, then the wall. Sam was walking around the ruins, making sure to stay close to Daniel. She didn't want any surprise attacks.

Something glinted to her left. Turning, she saw a small pedestal half buried in rubble. Sitting on top was a delicate red sphere, catching the sunlight. "Daniel?"

"Yeah?" he called, sounding distracted.

"I think I found something." She heard Daniel shift and walk over to her. She picked up her radio. "Sir?"

"Yeah, Carter?" came his staticky reply.

"We think we've found something." Sam said, eyeing the ball suspiciously.

"A big honking weapon against the Goa'uld?" he asked sarcastically.

Sam smiled. "Don't know, sir. Maybe you and Teal'c should come take a look."

"Understood. We'll be there in about five minutes." Sam was about to reply when the colonel spoke over the radio again. "And Carter?"

"Yes sir?"

"Don't let Daniel touch it."

Sam smiled again and looked at Daniel, who rolled his eyes. "Understood, sir."

"Always assuming the worst, isn't he?" Daniel smiling with a mixture of frustration and understanding.

"Well, you do have a habit of _touching_ artifacts that cause something bad to happen." When Daniel looked at her, confused, she scrunched up her nose. "Need I remind you of the whole crystal skull incident?"

Daniel flinched. "Thanks for that."

"Anytime." Sam smiled then jumped back. "Whoa!"

Daniel stumbled back as well. The sphere was _glowing_. "I didn't touch it!" Daniel held his hands up.

"Sir?" Sam said into the radio. "Whatever we found…it's active."

"And I didn't touch it!" Daniel yelled into his own radio.

"Alright, I want you two out of there. Meet us back at the gate." His voice held a slightly gloating undertone, but mainly it was concern.

"Yes, sir. We just need to--," Jack heard Sam start to say before the radio went dead.

"Carter?" he said into his radio. He was met with silence. "Carter?" he said considerably louder.

"Jack!" Daniel's voice erupted from the radio.

"Daniel! What happened?" he demanded.

"I don't know! Sam…Sam's been hit!" Daniel shouted.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Pissed

**Chapter 2: Pissed**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Jack looked at Teal'c and picked up the pace to a run. Teal'c kept up easily, but noted the panic he saw in the colonel's eyes. "What!" Jack yelled into the radio.

"I don't know, Jack. But, she's barely breathing. We gotta get her out of here." Daniel's voice was subdued and he sounded deadly serious.

The colonel didn't bother to reply. They were almost to the ruins. He could see Daniel kneeling over a blonde head. "Dammit." He muttered, jumping over some of the rubble. When he reached them Daniel looked up. His eyes told Jack all he needed to know.

"Daniel Jackson." Teal'c inclined his head. "What has done this?"

"It…it looked like a wave." Daniel pointed to the pedestal. "A red wave that came outta that thing. It hit Sam and then she was lying on her back, unconscious."

Jack knelt down next to Sam, feeling her neck for a pulse. Finding one he looked at his teammates. "She's alive. Daniel, dial up the gate." Daniel nodded and took off for the DHD.

He looked down at Carter and dread laced through his insides. She was hardly breathing and her skin was chilled. "Christ, Carter." He muttered. Then, picking her up gently, he raced back to the stargate with Teal'c close behind him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The alarms in the base were going off. "Unscheduled incoming wormhole!" Walter yelled over the intercom.

"Who is it?" General Hammond asked coming up behind him.

Walter looked at the computer screen, waiting for the code to be cleared. "It's SG-1, sir."

"Open the iris." Hammond looked through the window to the gate. "They're not due back for two hours."

"Maybe, the ruins don't say anything important." Walter suggested his eyes hopeful. The naïve expression in his eyes died when, he heard Dr. Jackson's voice through his earpiece. "They're requesting a medical team, sir."

The general nodded and pressed the intercom. "Medical team to the gateroom! I repeat, medical team to the gateroom!" He turned, descended the stairs, and walked down the corridor to the gateroom. He arrived just as Teal'c stepped through the gate.

"Teal'c! What happened?"

"We found a device, General Hammond." Teal'c's voice was riddled with worry.

"Teal'c, what--?" Hammond started, but stopped when Daniel came through the gate, looking as worried as Teal'c sounded. He was closely followed by Colonel O'Neill…carrying Major Carter. She hung limply in his arms and his eyes were dark with anger and concern.

"Colonel O'Neill, what happened?" Hammond fairly shouted.

"Where's that damn medical team?" Jack ignored the general's question looking around the room. As if on cue, the blast doors opened and two men in white uniforms ran in pushing a stretcher, Janet close behind them.

"What happened?" she asked. The colonel ignored her and placed Sam on the gurney as gently as he could.

"Let's go!" he shouted when the men didn't move. Snapping to attention they wheeled Major Carter out of the gateroom, Jack running next to them.

General Hammond stared at the two remaining members of SG-1. "What the hell happened? Teal'c said that you found a device?"

Daniel looked at Teal'c and shrugged. "Sam found it. I don't what activated it, but it lashed out and hit Sam. She's been unconscious since then."

Hammond paused for a moment letting it sink in. "Alright. I want you two to head to the infirmary for a full medical exam. And…" he trailed off looking down for a second. He looked back up and met their questioning gaze. "Make sure Colonel O'Neill stays in line."

Daniel and Teal'c nodded with understanding. If something serious had happened to Sam, Jack was gonna be pissed.

More pissed than a commanding officer should be.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Conscious

**Chapter 3: Conscious**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Jack's mind was racing. Carter was down. She was _hurt_. Daniel's voice rang through his head, adding to the commotion. "Sam's been hit! She's barely breathing!" Jack squeezed his eyes shut briefly, but kept his pace with the gurney. He looked down at her pale face and felt that hot-cold feeling of dread mixing with adrenaline again. He couldn't lose her. He _couldn't_. He wanted to reach down and grab her hand, just to be able to _feel_ that she was still alive, but he knew he had to keep up appearances…somewhat. He knew he was acting a lot more erratic than he should be, but…it didn't matter. At the moment, he didn't care.

They reached the infirmary what felt like hours later. Janet jumped off the gurney and cut open Sam's shirt, placing the pads and wires in their correct places. Jack hovered around the edges of the room as he usually did when Carter was hurt, but this time it was different…he was more anxious. He was angry that he hadn't been there when she needed him.

"I got a pulse." Janet Fraiser said, whipping her hand from Sam's neck. "It's weak, but it's a normal sinus rhythm." Jack nodded even though she wasn't talking to him. Footsteps behind him, told him that Daniel and Teal'c had come up behind him. Jack ignored them and turned his attention back to his second in command. He had been responsible for her. He was supposed to make sure she stayed safe…well, as safe as you can be in their line of work. He had vowed that he would not let _anything _happen to her. That vow had been to himself, it had nothing to do with the Air Force or their rank. It had everything to do with _them_. And what they could never be.

"What happened to her?" Janet asked after intubating Sam. Jack grimaced. He hated seeing her attached to all of the flashing and whirring machines.

Daniel looked at Jack and, when he didn't answer, filled Janet in himself. They all knew that no matter how many times it was said, they had no idea what that thing had done to Sam. The details were too sketchy.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Two airmen had been ordered to guard Sam. They stood just outside the door to Sam's private room. She had been placed in one of the "viewing" rooms. There was a large window across from the bed that looked into a small room from which people could keep an eye on the patients. She had been unconscious for nearly 48 hours and wasn't showing signs of waking up.

Jack had left her side only a handful of times, but it had only been to use the bathroom. He sat on a stool at the foot of her bed and just stared. Stared at the floor, the ceiling, whatever inane object he held in his hand…anywhere but the fragile-looking woman on the bed. _'Yeah, fragile…right.'_ Carter was anything but fragile. She was strong, tough as nails, brave, and smart. Oh, God, was she smart. She never ceased to impress him.

He felt the hot prickling at the corners of his eyes, threatening tears. He looked up; willing the tears to go back. He couldn't cry. Wouldn't cry. He had to be strong for her. He knew that people were talking about _why _he was staying with her 24/7. He also knew that people had been talking about him and Carter for years. No one had ever approached him with it except his team. Carter only brought it up once, about three years ago, when they were "Zatarcs." She hadn't mentioned it since then. Jack figured that she no longer felt anything for him…but he hadn't stopped feeling those _feelings _for her. They had only gotten stronger. Every time she spouted some techno-babble, every little smile and look, every time she defended the planet, every time she explained something to him…he just fell harder and deeper.

"Come on, Carter." He whispered gruffly; the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking any louder. "Come back to us."

He finally looked at her. He flinched inwardly at the tube disappearing into her mouth and the wires snaking from her skin. Without thinking he grasped her hand and held onto it like a lifeline. He didn't care who saw him. He just wanted her to wake up. He looked at their hands. The bigger one wrapped around the smaller, limp one.

Jack heard footsteps behind him, but didn't let her hand go.

"Jack." Daniel spoke softly, concernedly. "Any change?"

Jack shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Jack." Daniel looked at the man that always radiated strength…but now just looked tortured by helplessness. He knew Jack loved her. He knew that Jack would die for her. He also knew that Jack would give anything to trade places with her; to be the one suffering.

The colonel shrugged and refused to meet Daniel's eyes. The doctor sighed. "Jack, even if you were there, there was nothing you could have done."

"I could have told you to get out of there." Jack spoke for the first time in two days. His voice was heavy with emotion and Daniel's heart went out to him. The colonel was grasping at straws, trying to make it his fault. He needed somewhere to place the blame.

"No, you couldn't have. There was no reason to."

"If I had, we wouldn't be in this mess." Jack burst out. "She wouldn't just be lying there and I wouldn't—," He broke off biting his lip the way he had often seen Carter do it. They had both picked up habits from each other, but neither one had consciously acknowledged it…until now.

"Jack, you can't blame yourself for this." Daniel said pulling up a stool next to him.

"The hell I can't." Jack glared at Daniel. Daniel looked at his friend. He saw the dark circles that curved underneath his eyes and the raw pain in them. His mouth was set in a hard line and his hair was sticking up in different directions because he had scrubbed his hands through it so many times.

Daniel sighed. "Jack, it's not your fault. It could have happened to any of us."

"But it didn't Daniel! It happened to Carter." He averted his eyes and instead looked at the machines reporting that her heart was still beating.

"Jack, listen to me." Daniel lowered his voice and leaned forward. "I know what she means to you and I know how this is affecting you. You can't blame yourself for any of this. It's too much."

Jack looked back up at Daniel and something inside him broke. "Is she going to wake up?" his words were whispered.

"I don't know." Daniel squinted, desperately wishing he could give him the answer he needed.

"What about the planet?" Jack asked ducking his eyes from Daniel's again. "Did you find anything?"

Daniel, Teal'c, and SG-7 had spent the last 36 hours on that goddamned planet trying to find out what that thing did to Carter.

Daniel shook his head and looked at the floor. "Jack, the device was gone."

"Gone?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Apparently, there are indigenous people there, but another sweep with the UAV didn't turn up anything." Daniel hated himself for saying it.

"The symbols?"

"Nothing. It was a bunch of gibberish. One line repeated over and over in different dialects. 'He who holds thy heart, gives thy mind.'" Daniel shook his head. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Dammit." Jack said, throwing whatever was in his hand onto the ground.

"I'm sorry Jack."

"Yeah." Jack squeezed Carter's hand and froze when he felt a light squeeze in return. He jumped to his feet, knocking his stool over. Daniel also jumped up.

"Jack…?"

"She squeezed my hand…" Jack stared at Carter. Her eyes were moving under their lids. Suddenly they snapped open and filled with fear. "Get the doc!" Jack yelled to the airman. She began to cough trying to get the tube out.

"Hey, Carter…" Jack said gently. "Hold on a sec, we'll get it out." He pulled the tape securing the tube away. "Uh, Daniel?"

"Don't look at me." Daniel said quickly. "I'm a doctor of _archaeology_."

"Colonel? What's going on?" Janet walked into the room.

"She's awake." Jack said not taking his eye of hers. Hers were wide with fear and darting around. She looked like a caged animal. "Get that tube outta her." He ordered.

"Yes sir." Janet instructed Sam to cough and pulled the tube out of her mouth. Carter closed her eyes and moistened her lips. When she opened them they held that same fear, but anger was darkening her gaze.

"Carter?" Jack asked still holding tight to her hand.

Her eyes widened and she yanked her hand from his. "Who are you and what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Start

**Chapter 4: The Start**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Jack stared at her, shocked. He felt Daniel stiffen beside him and Janet looked up confused. "Carter?" he asked again, tentatively.

"Who?" she asked frowning at them. Her familiar blue eyes were cold and unyielding. She wasn't faking.

Jack stepped back, but continued to keep his eyes locked to hers.

"Sam?" Daniel asked squinting at her. His voice suggested that he wasn't really expecting a good response.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but I think you should let me go." Sam looked around the room. "Where am I?"

"You're at the SGC, Carter." Jack said looking at her for any signs of recognition.

"The SG…what?" her brow furrowed and fear flitted through her eyes again.

Jack looked at Fraiser. "Doc? What's going on?"

Janet just looked from him to Daniel to Sam. "It looks like amnesia, sir." She spoke with hesitation.

"Amnesia?" Jack looked back at Carter then to Daniel. "That damn thing took her _memory_?"

Daniel stared at him, mouth hanging slightly open. "I guess." He frowned. "Do you have a name?" he asked Sam who continued to glance between the three of them.

"Sure…" she said looking down. "Sure I do…I just…don't remember." She furrowed her brow and scrubbed a hand over her face. "Look, I can't remember anything, so if you're trying to get information out of me…I think you're out of luck."

Jack raised his eyebrows and his insides twisted. "Your name is Major Samantha Carter."

"Major? What kind of name is that?" she frowned at them. She had no idea what was going on. Her mind was a complete blank. The only thing keeping her in that bed was the overwhelming feeling that these people would not hurt her. They…_felt_ familiar…she just couldn't _remember_ them. And…there something about the way that that man was holding her hand. "Do I know you?" she asked not waiting for the answer to her previous question.

Something flitted through his eyes, but it was gone before she could read it. His voice was heavy when he spoke. "Major is your rank, not your name. You're a member of the United States Air Force." He took a deep breath. "And, yes, you do know us. You know us very well."

Carter shook her head, not understanding anything about 'rank' of 'United States Air Force,' but she knew emotion. There something in the way he said that…

"So…my name is…?" she questioned looking into his brown eyes. Something surged through her when he said it.

"Samantha Carter…but, we'll call you Sam." He said, still very confused.

She narrowed her eyes. "You called me Carter."

"Yeah…that's what I normally call you." He looked around suddenly uncomfortable.

She looked at the man with blue eyes and glasses. "But you called me Sam." She shook her head. "How many names do I have?"

"Just one." The blue eyed man assured her. "We all just have different ways of using it. I call you Sam. So does Janet. Teal'c calls you Major Carter. Jack calls you Carter." He spoke slowly trying not to overwhelm her.

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Janet? Teal'c? Jack? Who-who are you talking about?"

"Us." The woman on the opposite side of her said. "I'm Doctor Janet Fraiser. We're your friends."

"So you're Jack?" Sam questioned the man with brown eyes. He looked startled. "But, I don't call you that…do I?" she asked, correctly reading his expression.

"No…you call me colonel. Or sir." He said not meeting her gaze.

"Sir?" she raised her eyebrows. "Why would I call you that?"

Jack looked at Daniel for help. "Its, uh, it's a term of respect. Jack is your commanding officer."

Sam nodded. "So colonel above major?" she asked, making the connection.

"Right." Daniel confirmed.

"But that's only military terms. You're actually much smarter than I am." His eyes met hers and she frowned.

"Military…you know what? Never mind. I'd really like to go home now." She looked at all of them and frowned when they all looked meaningfully at each other. "I'm…not going anywhere…am I?"

"No." The woman called Janet said apologetically. "I have to run some tests. We have to find out how to get your memory back."

Sam nodded, but gazed at them distrustfully. "If you know me as well as you say you do…I'd really like to know more about…" she paused and smiled humorlessly. "Me."

Janet nodded. "That could help her regain her memory."

"Right." Daniel said. "Jack…you wanna tell her?" Daniel already knew the answer, but he had to ask.

"Yeah." Jack said meeting her eyes. "If that's okay with you?"

She considered him. "Do I trust you?" she knew it was an absurd question and that she couldn't trust anything they told her, but…it would help to know.

Jack's eyes widened, surprised. He didn't know what to say. He knew the answer, of course…he just couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Yes." Daniel jumped in. "Yes, you trust him more than anyone." Jack was surprised at that one too, but didn't let on.

"Okay." She nodded. "I guess it's a start."

"Daniel, tell Teal'c what's going on." Daniel nodded, starting to turn away. "And…contact the Tok'ra. Tell Jacob to get over here." Daniel nodded and left the room.

Janet excused herself as well and hurried out of the room, giving colonel and major their privacy.

"Jacob?" she asked not looking at him.

"Yeah…he's your father." Jack picked up his stool and sat on it, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And…he's a…Tok…ra?" she sounded the word out, rolling it on her tongue.

"Yeah." Jack hesitated, sensing where this was going.

"So, I'm a…?" she frowned.

"No. No, you're not." He spoke more harshly than he intended to. She glanced up at him sharply. Jack sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just…you should really ask him about that."

Sam nodded, sensing his turmoil. "So…colonel…" she rolled that word around too and frowned. "That doesn't feel right." She looked back up at him. "Sir." The word slid off her tongue. "That one's better."

Jack nodded and gave her a tight smile. "That's what you usually call me."

Sam noticed his eyes soften and guilt rushed through her. _'Guilt?'_ she wondered. _'Why do I feel guilty? Why am I…upset?'_ Waves of sadness were washing over her. She had a strong sense of nostalgia, but couldn't place it.

The silence between them lengthened and both became uncomfortable. "So…" Jack started when he could no longer stand it. "What do you want to know? And don't say everything, cause…quite frankly Carter…I wouldn't even know where to start." His attempt at lightening the mood just increased her feeling of nostalgia.

"It doesn't matter…just…talk to me." Her eyes met his and he could clearly see the desperation in them. It tore at his heart.

"Okay…the basics then…" he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, which were twisted in his lap. "We met seven and a half years ago when you were assigned to my team." He expected her to interrupt, but she leaned back onto the pillow and waited for him to continue. "You're a grade-A genius and have saved the world…several times." Her eyebrows shot up when she heard that, but she kept quiet.

He paused deciding if he should explain the stargate to her. "Wow, this is complicated. The person who should be explaining this is you…" he rubbed the back of his neck again and proceeded to inform her, in lamen's terms, about the stargate and the places it takes you. He told her about the Goa'uld, the Tok'ra, the Asgard, and all their other allies. She just stared at him the entire time, but he could practically here her mind whirring. Just like the Carter he knew, she was analyzing him and what he said.

Briefly, he wondered why Daniel hadn't come back yet with Jacob or Teal'c, but came to the conclusion that Daniel was deliberately giving them time. Jack didn't tell her about any of their missions…that would take several weeks. And, hopefully, by then, she'll have her memory back.

An hour later, he finished the reader's digest version of their lives and looked at her. She was staring at the window across from her bed. Jack turned around…there was no one there. "Carter?" she didn't respond automatically. He couldn't blame her…if you don't remember your name, you can't actually respond to it.

"That…is quite…a load." She finished lamely. She had listened intently and even understood some of it, though his description of a wormhole didn't quite make sense to her. She was pretty sure _real_ worms were not involved.

"Well…you would have explained it better." He said as if following her thoughts. He glanced down at the tongue depressor in his hand. He didn't remember picking it up.

"Maybe…before." She shook her head at the absurdity of the situation. "How did I get…amnesia?"

Jack stared at the stick in his hand and shook head slowly. "I don't know. Something…'a red wave'…knocked you out. I wasn't there."

Sam noticed the frustration and regret in his voice when he spoke. "It's not your fault." She said suddenly, sensing it's reality. He snorted mirthlessly and shrugged.

"That's a matter of opinion." He muttered standing and walking aimlessly around the room.

"Sir…I--," she stopped suddenly, pressing her hand to her temple.

"Carter?" Jack turned around and laid a hand on her arm. "Carter? You okay?"

She couldn't hear him. She felt his hand land on her arm, but barely noticed. Images were flashing through her head. Cold. She remembered cold and…ice. Lots of ice. "Antarctica." She muttered. "We were trapped in Antarctica." She tried to say more, but her throat closed.

She felt his hand tighten on her arm. More images bombarded her mind. Red hair…Hathor. Hathor making the colonel a Goa'uld. No…it didn't work. Warm, she felt warm. He was hugging her. Holding onto her. He was shivering and she was shaking with relief…just to know he was alive. She clutched him.

"Hathor." She bit out through clenched teeth.

More pictures and words filled her head. "You—you pulled me out from under the bomb. You pulled me into a corner to save me instead of letting the bomb hit me." She squeezed her eyes shut, her head pounding.

The rush of images stopped as suddenly as they had started. She let out a sigh of relief and collapsed back onto the pillows. She was breathing heavily, like she had just run a mile.

"Carter?" he sounded hesitant. "You back with us?"

"No…sir. I'm sorry." She put her hands over her face and resisted the urge to cry. "I just saw…images. I think Janet was right. Maybe talking to me will help me to…'regain' my memory."

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: "Murky Clarity"

**Chapter 5: "Murky Clarity"**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

She felt her hands being pulled away and looked up to see him looking at her, eyes full of concern. She blushed and turned away. She was about to say something when words burst through her mind and out her mouth. "He who holds thy heart, gives thy mind." The second it was out she looked up at him. "I didn't mean to say that." She said when she saw his expression. "I don't even know what that means."

Jack shook his head. "That saying…those exact words were written on the ruins where _this_ happened." His eyes were distant, but he still held onto her hands. She cleared her throat and looked pointedly at him. He looked at his hands, as if surprised at what they were doing. He dropped them immediately.

Her hands felt empty. She didn't know why, but…she wished he hadn't let her go. His hands…had felt so right…with hers. He cleared his throat and straightened. Sam looked at him, about to ask what was wrong when she saw the men standing in the door.

The blue eyed one Jack had identified as 'Daniel' was there, as was a man fitting the description of Teal'c and another who matched his description of General Hammond, along with Janet. But…the other man…she didn't recognize. He stepped into the room first.

"Sam?" he asked walking up next to Jack. She looked at him guardedly. "Sam, my name's Jacob. I'm--,"

Sam cut him off, making the connection. "My father. The…_colonel_…told me about…you." She frowned at her lack of explanation.

He smiled and a comforting feeling enveloped her. "Sam, I know it's a lot to ask, but I need you to trust me." The words felt foreign in his tongue. Asking his daughter to trust him…no recognition…no love in her eyes. This wasn't right.

She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"The Tok'ra have a piece of technology that might aid us in the recovery of your memory." He showed her what looked like a small circle with a red dot in the middle. "I'm not sure if it's going to work, but, it's our best shot."

"She remembered some stuff." Jake said suddenly.

Everyone in the room froze. "What?" Jacob asked.

"She remembered the Antarctica incident from six years ago. And the whole…Hathor thing too." He grimaced uncomfortably at his own memories of their second meeting. "And when you, Carter, Daniel, and myself were trying to blow up Apophis' whole fleet three years ago."

"That's good." Jacob said, smiling a little in relief. "That means that her memories are not completely erased. They're still in there."

Sam listened to the exchange. Just looking at that device made her uncomfortable. "I've used that before." She spoke quietly, but they heard her anyway. "I didn't like it."

"Those things are a pain in the ass." Jack said, unable to contain himself. However, he clamped his mouth against any further comments when Jacob glared at him reprovingly.

"I know, Sam, but…we don't have anything else." He gazed pleadingly at her. To some degree, everyone was.

She nodded her head slowly. "Alright. What does it do?"

"This part is pressed into your temple." He gestured with the round device. "It should draw out your memories. And this," he held up a small cylindrical object. "Will control the strength at which your memories are drawn out."

"Okay." Sam said. "But…how will I know it's working and not just my imagination creating false memories?"

"There's a built in holographic transmitter. Your memories will be projected onto a holographic screen. I hate to invade your privacy, kiddo, but we don't have a choice." He knew that the holographic transmissions could be revealing, but…they had to make sure it was working.

Sam's eyes widened and she took a deep breath. "Right…of course. In that case, I apologize for any memories that…offend anyone." She nodded at Jacob signaling her acceptance.

"This is going to hurt a little." He warned before pressing the circle into her temple. Stabbing pain erupted in her head. She instinctively tried to shy away from it, but it was already in. The worst was over. She bit her lip as the last few waves of pain nipped at her.

She took another deep breath in a vain attempt to calm her nerves. "Oh, for cryin' out loud." She muttered and her voice audibly shook. She didn't notice the colonel look at her in surprise. Nor did she see the knowing glances that passed between Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, and the general. She did, however, see Jacob smile slightly and look at Jack out of the corner of his eye. She frowned, but didn't question it.

"I'm going to turn it on." Jacob said bracingly, lifting the cylinder and placing it near the circle. She felt a slight buzzing in her head and wondered briefly if this was going to damage her brain. She squinted her eyes as the slight buzz became louder and more insistent.

"Is it supposed to…buzz?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"It is part of the process." It looked like it was Jacob who spoke, but the voice was different. Suddenly, an image appeared on a 'screen' in front of her and the buzzing in her head ceased.

The woman on the screen (_'Me.'_ Sam realized, surprised) was kneeling on the ground, coughing. Her eyes glowed and blood dripped from her mouth. A man came up behind, her dropping to his knees and grabbing her arm. "Carter!" he spun her around. "You okay?" he asked when he saw the blood.

"Y-Yeah." She yelled back, but it wasn't her. There was something…inside her. The screen flashed to room with grey walls and black iron bars. A strange man stood in front of her. He was wearing an odd looking ring on his fingers, pointing it at her. It _was_ her, but the voice and thoughts weren't.

"My death only feeds the fire that burns strong within the Tok'ra." The man smiled cruelly at her. The ring suddenly erupted with light and seemed to "x-ray" her head.

Sam gasped as pain exploded in her head. Even though it was a memory, it hurt all the same.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Remembering

**Chapter 6: Remembering**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Jack grimaced as he watched the screen. He hadn't seen how that bastard had tortured her and judging by the look on her face now, the pain was all too real for her. He reached down and gently grasped her hand. The memory on screen stopped suddenly and flashed to a moment about three years ago.

Jack was strapped in a chair with one of the Tok'ra memory devices attached to his head. He was staring into a strange machine with an intense expression on his face. A woman was speaking.

"You did everything you could?"

"Yes." Jack replied.

"You couldn't save her." The woman, Anise, stated.

"No."

"But, you still could've saved yourself."

"I guess." He replied. The scene changes, but it's still the same memory. Sam watched the colonel break open the control panel and crack the insides. The force shield separating them is still there.

"Sir, just go!" Sam yells.

"No!" The anguished shout escapes his throat before he has a chance to think. He straightens automatically and looks down at her. She looks back at him close to tears, pleading with him silently. He stares back into her eyes, tears threatening in his own. His eyes were wide and he looked surprised. He looked like he had just realized something _big_.

The scene flashes back to the room.

"What were you feeling?" Anise asked.

"Like…someone who was about to die." Jack hedged.

"Sir." Carter said from behind the machine. Jack met her eyes and held them.

"I didn't leave because…I'd have rather died myself…than lose Carter."

"Why?" Anise asked.

"Because I care about her." He looks her dead in the eyes. "A lot more than I'm supposed to."

The screen suddenly goes black, but does not disappear.

"Whoa." Sam said, shuddering. She had felt every emotion that came with those memories. But…one overpowered the rest…love. She looked at Jack standing beside her. From the surprised and shadowed look on his face…that last memory had revealed something it shouldn't have.

Sam glanced at the other occupants in the room through her eyelashes. Her father had turned around and was looking at General Hammond. Both men exchanged knowing looks. Daniel was looking at Jack, gauging his reaction, Teal'c was raising an eyebrow with a slight smile on his face, and Janet was looking directly at her, smiling encouragingly. Sam then turned her eyes to meet Jack's. He held her gaze, but didn't say anything.

Her head snapped forward suddenly and the screen flashed into life. It looked like a boiler room…there were pipes and steam and two people were leaning against a large boiler. Thera (Sam) tentatively leaned her head against Jonah's (Jack) shoulder. When he didn't shrug her off she relaxed into the contact.

"You know, there are some things about this place that I like." She looked up at him.

He looked back at her, slightly surprised. "Really?" Thera looked up at him, her eyes dancing with mischief. He mouthed "Oh!" and looked back at her. "Would it mean anything to you…if I told you I remember something else?"

"What?" Thera asked.

"Feelings."

"_Feelings_?"

He nodded. "I remember feeling feelings."

Thera smiled. "For me?"

"No…for Tor." He replies sarcastically and she laughs. Then seriously, he says, "I don't remember much…but I do remember that."

The screen went blank again. Sam was blushing furiously and Jack was bouncing on his heels, avoiding everyone's eyes. When General Hammond looked questioningly at Daniel he cleared his throat. "Uh…three years ago we had our memories altered. We didn't know who we…were." Daniel said uncomfortably. The general just stared at him and Daniel shrugged. The air in the room was growing increasingly awkward.

Another image flashed on the screen. It looked like picture. Sam was lying on a stack of hay. She and Jack seemed to be in a cage. Her eyes were half closed and her face contorted in pain. Jack was staring at her with a mixture of fear and helplessness in his eyes. He was sitting next to her, his hand resting on hers.

The screen changed to another picture, Sam and Jack were underwater. Both were scrabbling at the ceiling, but they were drowning. Then the water receded and Jack was holding onto her vest and had a hand on her stomach supporting her as she coughed out the water.

Another still image flashed. Sam and Jack were both wearing their dress uniforms. Her father and the general were standing next to them, also in uniform. Sam and Jack were sharing a knowing, secret look. She was smiling at him and he back at her. Jacob was looking at the general questioningly. A look that said, "You sure they're just teammates?" The general just shrugged.

The screen changed again, lightning fast. This time, words went along with the images.

Sam was lying in a room identical to the one she was currently occupying. Her mouth was set in a hard line and her eyes were cold. She was staring at Jack. She was speaking, but…the voice was coming from a computer.

"But you will not. Not now. I have observed. You value the life of one."

Jack stared hard at her. "Yes…we do."

"This one is important."

Jack voice hitched. "She is."

"For this reason, this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me."

Sam shut her eyes and the screen became blank again. She groaned. "I'm sorry."

Daniel looked at the uncomfortable observers. "Can I have a word with…" He pointed to everyone except Sam and Jack. They nodded and turned from the room, leaving Sam and Jack alone.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Patterns and An Option

**Chapter 7: Patterns and An Option**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"Does anyone else feel like we're intruding on something…I don't know…private?" Janet whispered when they had gotten far enough from the room.

"We are." Daniel said raising his eyebrows at her.

"Indeed, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c concurred, inclining his head and raising an eyebrow.

"Am I the only one noticing a pattern here?" General Hammond asked.

Jacob looked at them all. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"Oh, please, Jacob…you've known about this since you saw them together in Washington." The general said dismissing Jacob's comment.

Daniel looked at Jacob and shrugged. Jacob shook his head. "Don't get me wrong…I have a lot of respect for Jack…and he does do his best to protect Sam…but…" He trailed off.

"But?" Janet prompted.

"But, she's my little girl. I don't feel right watching her…_private_ memories." Jacob looked at the rest. "Do you?"

When he was met with silence he sighed. "We don't have a choice." More silence.

Suddenly, Daniel snapped his fingers. "He who holds thy heart, gives thy mind!" he almost shouted. They stared at him. "The—the writings on the wall! At the ruins! They said--,"

But Jacob cut him. "He who holds thy heart, gives thy mind. Right, we know. What does it mean?" Exasperation crept into his voice.

Daniel hesitated, trying to find a way to phrase this delicately. He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm going to say this…" He looked apologetically at the group. "Jack 'holds' Sam's heart. That's why her memories are of _them_."

They stared at him. Now they were extremely uncomfortable. "So…how do we get her _other _memories back?" Janet asked facing Daniel.

Daniel looked around helplessly and shrugged.

"Perhaps, if it is O'Neill who questions her…she will remember." Teal'c suggested.

"That could work." Jacob said, absently holding a finger in the air. "It's worth a shot."

When the rest of the group nodded they went back into the room. Jack was standing exactly where he was when they left. Both were looking away from each other and not speaking. The air was thick with tension and embarrassment.

"Jack?" Daniel started. "We have an idea."

"What?" Sam and Jack asked at the same time, relieved that they were no longer alone.

"Well…" Daniel trailed, waiting to see if someone was going to jump in. When no one did, he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We think that you're the trigger for Sam's memory. So…if you ask her questions, she might remember."

Jack stared at him. Daniel groaned. "I know it's a long shot…but…it's all we got."

"Daniel…we'll have no way of knowing if we got all of her memories back! And…we don't know how long it could take!" Jack pointed out frustrated. "I wouldn't even know where to start!"

"I know, but…" Daniel shrugged helplessly and dropped his eyes.

"We have to go back to the planet." Jack said even though he knew it was hopeless.

"I do not believe that that would yield any useful information, O'Neill." Teal'c said.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Daniel said, holding up his hand and frowning. "Maybe the device isn't gone. I didn't think about it before…what if it's buried? What if it only reacted to Sam's presence? It could still be there, just…hidden."

Every pair of eyes was on Daniel. "What?" they asked in unison.

"If we bring Sam and Jack back it might react again. It may give her all of her memories back." Daniel clarified.

General Hammond considered this. "Let's give Teal'c's suggestion a try first…and if that doesn't work out…we'll _consider_ yours." He phrased his words carefully. Daniel nodded grudgingly and they turned to Jack.

"Where do I start?" Jack asked looking to anyone for help.

"The beginning." Jacob said suddenly. "I'll tell you what to ask her…" Jacob blanched as he realized what the first question had to be. They had to start at the beginning…and Sam's career had started with the answer of the inevitable question. "Listen, Jack, the first question's a doozie. But…you have to ask it."

Jack nodded, dread running through his veins and a distinctly familiar twisting in the pit of his stomach. He nodded. Jacob brought him aside and spoke quietly. Jack tensed when he finished and began to shake his head.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Bad Memories

**Chapter 8: Bad Memories**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"Jack, you have to."

"Jacob, if I ask her that…and she remembers…" Jack shook his head. "It'll feel like it just happened. _I_ don't even know what really happened…she doesn't talk about it."

Jacob gave him a stern, but sympathetic glare. "Jack, it's gonna be hard for her, for me…for you." When he said that Jack glanced up. Jacob held up a hand. "Don't even try to make excuses…that was pretty self-explanatory." He said referring to what had just happened.

"Jacob, it's…complicated…" Jack said squinting his eyes at the older man. "For Carter's sake…" he paused thinking hard. "I'll do it."

Jacob smiled sadly and clapped the colonel on the back.

They rejoined the group and Jack took a deep breath. Sam's expectant blue eyes stared up at him. She was scared. She still didn't know who she was and those memories and…_feelings_…had been intense.

"Carter…I'm going to ask you something that…that may hurt if you remember." He saw her eyes widen and hated himself for what he was about to do. He didn't want to be the one to do this…what if she hated him afterwards? Refused to speak to him at all?

She nodded slowly, apprehension evident in her voice and expression. "Alright."

"What happened to your mother?" Jack voice was heavy and he felt Daniel and Janet shift behind him. They didn't know anything more about it than he did. All they knew was that she had died when Sam was young. They didn't know how it happened or how she found out. He heard Frasier's sharp intake of breath and General Hammond's sad sigh. Jacob stood stiff beside him. If Carter remembered…he was about to relive his wife's death. Everyone was looking at Sam, who frowned and turned her eyes to look straight in front of her.

The buzzing was starting again. It grew louder and more insistent and, with it, came the heavy weight of anguish. Tears prickled her eyes and a lump began to form in her throat. She knew they all saw the telltale glistening, but didn't care. "I feel…sad." She said thickly around the lump. "I can't—," But she stopped as the screen appeared again.

A young girl with long blonde hair and large blue eyes was putting freshly baked cookies on a plate.

Sam furrowed her brow. Was that her?

The girl bit her lip as she pulled another batch of cookies out of the oven and placed them carefully on the counter. She heard the door open and a voice that sounded like Jacob's floated through the house. "Sam?"

"In here." She called, not looking up from the cookies. She heard her father enter the kitchen. She glanced up smiling. Worry flooded through her when she saw her father's expression. She looked past him…to where her mother was supposed to be.

"Sam…" he repeated, voice hollow.

"Where's mom?" she asked, her apprehension creeping into her voice. Her father looked at her for a long time. With each second that passed her worry grew to fear and then to full blown panic. "Dad?" she asked slightly hostilely.

"Sam…I'm sorry." He couldn't meet her eyes. He looked at the floor and Sam felt her stomach drop to the floor with them. Tears rushed into her eyes and she fought against them. It couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. Not knowing what to do, her mind a blank, she through the spatula on top of the cookies; the metallic clang ringing in her ears. She whipped around and raced up the stairs, barely making it to the second floor before collapsing in sobs.

She heard her father behind her and whirled to face him before he reached her. "Don't!" she screamed, rage and tears filling her voice.

"Sam…"

"No! You were supposed to be there! You said you'd change! You said you'd be here for us!" she screamed pointing an accusing finger at him. He tried to reach out to her, but she jumped back like she'd been burned. Her voice lowered to an icy whisper. "Have you told Mark?"

Her father shook his head, his own tears falling. "He's still at the daycare."

Sam glared at him through her wet, suddenly tired eyes. She wanted to say something, but nothing seemed right. Instead, she just shook her head and sprinted down the hall to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She threw herself onto her bed and dissolved into angry tears. Her mother was gone.

Her mother was _gone_.

"No! No! NO!" Sam shouted not realizing that she verbalized her memory. She felt like it was happening right then. The anguish and pain were so _real_. She was crying, the sobs rocking her body. She was suddenly aware that someone's arms were around her, enfolding her in a safe, familiar embrace.

She clutched whoever was holding her like a lifeline, bringing her back to the present. She inhaled deeply and was met with a scent that was comforting to her. She had smelled this scent before. Without opening her eyes she knew who was rocking her.

Colonel Jack O'Neill.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Again

**Chapter 9: Again**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

She opened her eyes and saw Jacob ('_My father.' _She reminded herself.) looking down at the floor. That must have just as painful for him as it was for her. Probably more so. Daniel was looking at her and she was surprised to see that his eyes were slightly wet. Tears were running down Janet's cheeks and Teal'c was looking at her with great concern and empathy. The general was looking at the floor as well. He remembered when Jacob's wife had died, but hadn't known how Sam had found out.

Jack buried his face in Carter's neck, whispering nonsensical words in an effort to comfort her. He could feel her shaking and wanted desperately to take that pain away. He hated it when she cried. He had only seen it a handful of times in the time that he had known her, but each time he had just wanted to hold her. He had wanted to hold her and never let go.

Jack felt Carter grip him tightly and bury her face in his chest. Her sobs were slowing, but she did not loosen her grip. Jack had no idea how long they stayed like that. The room was silent as they let Sam grieve for her mother. Jack turned to Jacob.

"We can't do this. There has to be another option." His voice was low and determined. Jacob looked up at him, then turned to Daniel.

"We think there might be." Daniel said, stepping forward and speaking soothingly. "I think that if you and Sam go back to the planet together…that _device_ might appear."

Normally Jack would have balked at the idea, but he couldn't put Carter through anymore of this. He had no idea how many painful memories Carter had locked in her head…and he didn't plan on putting her through all of them. He nodded. "Then that's what we do."

"Jack--," The general started, the use of his first name scaring the colonel.

"General, we can't do this. It's _Carter_, sir. I _can't_ do this to her." Jack didn't look at the general. His words were forceful; he wanted his commanding officer to understand what she was going through.

The general was silent for a long time. Finally, he nodded. "Alright, Jack. If you think that's what's best." When the colonel nodded he turned away from the group. "Be ready in five minutes." Then he left without looking back.

Jack looked down at his second in command and was mildly surprised to find her looking back. Her blue eyes were now void of tears and, instead, filled with determination. "Thank you." She said with low sincerity. He gently took hold of her shoulders and pushed her away so that he could look at her better.

"Don't thank me yet. It may not work." He hated saying it, but he wouldn't give her hope only to rip it away again.

"I wasn't talking about that." She looked meaningfully at him. "Thank you for caring." She smiled soberly at him and his heart ached for her. He wanted to be so much more than they were…but that was impossible. Jacob reached over and gently pulled the memory device from her temple.

He nodded. After a pause he stepped back and offered her his hand. "Time to get your head back, Carter." She smiled at his attempt at humor and gratefully took his hand. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and flinched when her bare feet made contact with the concrete floor.

"I need shoes." She said looking down at her feet and laughing at the absurdity of that statement. After all that had happened and what was about to happen…and she was worried about _shoes_?

Jack looked worriedly at Jacob when she started laughing. Jacob just shrugged and gave him a look that said, "At least she's laughing." Jack nodded and led Carter out of the room.

"That won't be a problem." He said directing them to the women's locker room. He opened her locker and pulled out her boots. "You may wanna put these on too." He pulled out her base uniform; soft green pants and matching shirt. She nodded and he left the room to give her privacy.

She stepped out of the room a short while later shaking her feet and grimacing. "We really wear these?" she asked.

Jack smiled. "Everyday."

Sam shook her head. "I don't see how. They're very uncomfortable."

Jack shrugged, still smirking. "You get used to them." She nodded still shaking her foot every time they left the ground. They reached the gate room just as the wormhole "whooshed" out at them. Sam jumped back colliding with Jack's chest. He steadied her with a hand on each arm and couldn't help but grin at the look on her face.

Her mouth had dropped into a perfect "o." Her eyes were wide and mesmerized. "Impossible." She breathed. "The fluctuations…You can actually see the fluctuations in the event horizon."

Jack's eyes widened. "You know," he said, squeezing her shoulders before letting her go. "You said that when you saw it for the first time." He grinned, thinking back to her first time through the gate. _'Even when she's had her memories erased…she's still smarter than everyone around here.'_ He couldn't help but be amused.

"Okay." She took a deep breath and shook her hands nervously. Then, flanked by her father and the colonel and closely followed by Daniel and Teal'c…she stepped through the gate.

She shielded her eyes against the bright sunlight that hit her the second she stumbled from the gate. She followed Jack down the stone steps and onto a broken pathway leading to a mass of ruins.

"Whoa…" she stood rooted to the spot, looking at the devastation. "Did we do this?"

"No." Jack said quickly. "No, we didn't."

She nodded and stepped forward through a crumbling archway. "What am I supposed to be looking for…or doing?"

"See that wall back there?" Daniel asked stepping up next to Jack. She nodded. "Just walk towards it. Jack, walk next to her." The colonel threw Daniel an inscrutable look and walked beside Carter as she tentatively made her way through the remnants of the temple. They had only taken a few steps when the unmistakable sound of stone scraping against stone stopped them.

Two feet away a stone pedestal was pushing its way up through the ruins. They felt each other tense and Jack half stepped in front of her. The red stone began to pulse and Sam stepped out from behind Jack and stood next to him. Whispers seemed to be echoing from the ruins.

"Shri tell ta." A louder whisper emanated from what appeared to be the red stone itself.

"She has chosen." Daniel translated.

"Han tell rhee." It said.

"He has given." Daniel translated again.

"Shran la seel."

"They are worthy." Daniel said, a slight smile in his tone. He jumped back as the stone pulsed brightly and released the 'Red Wave' again.

Daniel, Teal'c, and Jacob watched as the pair were surrounded in searing red light. They saw Sam stumble and Jack catch her as she fell. The light was gone as suddenly as it had come. Jack was carrying Carter bridal-style and she once again hung lip in his arms. He turned and Daniel distinctly saw the tears that were glistening in his friends' eyes. He blinked rapidly and they were gone, but the three men had seen them.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Writing Their Own Story

**Chapter 10: Writing Their Own Story**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

He walked as if in slow motion; Carter's head resting against his shoulder, her breathing deep and even.

"Dial the gate." He yelled to Teal'c. Teal'c inclined his head and pushed the symbols for Earth. The wormhole opened and Jack motioned for Daniel, Teal'c, and Jacob to go ahead of him. They disappeared into the blue ripples and, taking a deep breath, he stepped through easily supporting Carter's weight.

The gurney was already waiting when he stepped onto the ramp. He gently placed her on the white surface and walked silently with them to the infirmary. They transferred her to a bed and attached the heart monitor. Then they waited.

General Hammond, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, and Jacob surrounded the bed in a half circle with Jack sitting on the bed next to her hip. They waited in silence praying that she would wake up. Praying that she would remember. Praying that she would be _their_ Sam.

Her eyes flickered open. She looked around at them. "Hey guys." She said quietly, smiling. The room let out the breath that they had all been holding. Smiles broke over their faces and they clapped each other on the back. Jack smiled back at her.

"Hey Carter. You back with us?" He asked quietly, though the familiar recognition in her eyes had already answered that.

"Yes, sir." Her smile widened.

"Sam." Her dad said softly coming over to the side opposite Jack.

"Dad…" she hugged him tightly. "I am so sorry." She squeezed him once and pulled back. "I'm sorry for acting like…that. It was never your fault." She spoke softly and the only other person who heard was Jack. To his credit, he bowed his head and pretended that he couldn't hear.

"Yes it was. You had every right to blame me." When he spoke his voice was full of regret, shame, and anguish. Sam shook her head, tears filling her eyes.

"No--," she tried.

"Yes. I promised that I would be there. I wasn't. There was an accident."

"Yes, dad…an accident. You couldn't have known." Sam looked into his eyes trying to convey how she felt. She had forgiven him. It really wasn't his fault.

Her father placed a hand on her cheek. He lowered his eyes. "Don't make my mistakes, Sam. Life is too short. Let yourself be happy…don't let _rules_ stand in your way." He raised his eyebrows and looked meaningfully at her.

Sam stared at him in shock. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the colonel raise his head and slowly turn to face her. She met his eyes and felt the heat rise into her cheeks. The expression in his eyes was enough to make her want to cry and laugh at the same time. She had never seen him so open…even three years ago on Apophis' half-finished ship. It was then that he had realized just how much he had fallen, but he had still been guarded.

Now, his eyes were hopeful, but resigned. They were inviting, but he would understand if she kept up the charade. She felt her father's hand leave her cheek and step back. She held the colonel's eyes for a moment longer, then turned to the others.

Daniel smiled at her. "You had us worried for a minute there, Sam. I though Jack was gonna shove my head through a wall."

She frowned and glanced at the colonel. He was looking at Daniel with a warning in his eyes. Daniel ignored him. "Why?" she asked.

"I was there when you…" he gestured with his hand and Sam nodded, showing that she understood. "I'm pretty sure he blamed me. Even if he didn't say anything."

"I too was concerned for your safety, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said with a smile on his face.

"Teal'c?" Jack asked feeling slightly betrayed.

"Was that a joke?" Sam asked smiling as well.

"It was indeed." Teal'c bowed his head and when he looked up again, his expression was serious. "However, I was more concerned for yours, Major Carter. As was O'Neill."

"Teal'c!" Jack exclaimed, holding out his hands in a 'what-the-hey?' motion.

Sam blushed. "Thanks Teal'c." he bowed again. "General." Sam said nodding at her superior.

"Major, it's good to have you back." The general smiled. He paused. "Jacob, I need to ask you something about…about that thing." The general stuttered and everyone turned to him, frowning. He raised his eyebrows at Jacob.

"Oh, right, yes! That…Tok'ra…device." Jacob smiled at his daughter and saw the faint suspicion in her eyes. "I'll be around for awhile, so…I'll be back soon."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, dad." She squeezed his hand. He smiled again, then turned and followed the general out of the room.

"I have to check on a patient." Janet said excusing herself after squeezing Sam's hand.

"I believe a celebration is in order, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c beamed again.

Daniel smiled conspiratorially. "I think you're right Teal'c."

"Cake?" Jack asked and Sam smiled, shaking her head slightly.

Daniel stared at him, looking at him over the rims of his glasses. "Yes, Jack. Cake." He spoke like he was talking to a particularly thick child.

Jack turned to her and grinned. "My idea." He said proudly, reminiscent of a few months ago after the 'Prometheus' incident. She had no doubt that he had said that on purpose.

"Yes sir." She nodded then looked at Daniel.

"Thanks." Both Daniel and Teal'c smiled and then looked around awkwardly.

"Perhaps we should get started on the celebratory preparations." Teal'c said suddenly, hands behind his back.

"Yes! Good! Right!" Daniel thumped Teal'c on the back. "Glad to have you back!" He called over his shoulder as he and Teal'c fled the room.

Sam took a deep breath and held it as she looked around the room. Jack was still sitting on the bed messing with a stethoscope.

"Janet's gonna kill you if you break that." Sam said desperate to break the silence.

"Yes…well…" Jack looked at the object, considering. After a minute he placed it carefully on top of the heart monitor. "Best not…_piss off_ the woman with the needles." He jokingly glanced behind him to make sure she wasn't standing there. "All clear." He said smiling.

The infirmary was in fact, empty. No patients or personnel. Feeling another uncomfortable silence coming on Sam twisted her hands in her lap.

"Look, sir--,"

"Carter." He looked up at her and she slowly met his eyes.

"Sir, please. Let me get this out." She waited for his reply and let out a shaky breath when he nodded. "What happened in the isolation room…I couldn't control it. I couldn't pick out what memories were shown."

"I know." He said softly, idly pulling at a thread on the blanket. He watched his fingers and would not meet her eyes.

"I…I actually have no idea what to say." She put her head in her hands and laughed. "Of course, that makes sense. Of course it would be _you_ that makes me speechless."

He looked up at her then, eyes unreadable. She shook her head. "Never mind. Sir…thank you. Thank you for comforting me when I remembered my…" her voice hitched. "My mother. I—I needed that."

He nodded, but remained silent. "Colonel, I…I just want you to know…I don't want you to feel like you need to _do_ or _say_ anything. I'll understand if--,"

Jack cut her off. "Carter, I didn't do what I did because I felt like it was my responsibility." He paused, thinking. "Actually, I did…but, not in the sense that you think." He squinted at her, calculating her reaction. "I wanted to be there. _I _wanted to be the one to…to hold you." He hadn't meant to be that blunt, but it was out and he couldn't take it back.

Sam looked up, startled. "Sir?"

He shrugged. "I hate seeing you cry, Carter."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean--," she started, but he held up his hand.

"Why didn't you tell me, Carter?" he looked up at her and his expression was, again, unreadable.

"Sir?" she repeated, though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Why didn't you tell me about…" he trailed off, not wanting to say it.

Sam dropped her head. "I didn't want you guys to think I was looking for pity." She shrugged. "I didn't want you to think I was, I don't know…weak."

Jack reached out and untwisted her hands taking them in his own. He spoke, but didn't meet her eyes. "You're not weak, Carter. Anything but." He laughed quietly. Then growing serious his eyes crashed into hers. "Do you trust me?"

Sam was taken aback. "Yes sir." She broke eye contact and instead looked at their hands. "More than anyone." She paused. "That's why I didn't tell you. I couldn't stand to have you, of all people, look at me with pity."

He sighed and held her hands tighter. "No pity." He said when she lifted her eyes to meet his. He saw her eyes grow shiny and wanted so much to hold her.

"Thank you, sir." She nodded her head and looked away, willing the tears to go away.

"Sam…" the use of her first name startled her. Her eyes flew to his. "It's up to you." He was giving her the choice.

"What is?" she asked quietly, her throat suddenly tight.

"What happens next." He posed it as a statement, not a question.

"How…?" she asked, not sure what she meant.

"We'll find a way." He answered.

"This is…complicated." She looked around, at a loss for words.

"Yeah." He quirked his eyebrow. "Lucky you're a genius."

Sam found his eyes, her own brimming with tears again. "I'm tired of this. Of what we have to do. I hate ignoring how I…" she trailed off still looking into his eyes. "But, it's worth it. You're worth it." She felt the heat rise into her cheeks again, but didn't care. She had the distinct feeling that it was now or never.

"We're worth it." He said. Her eyes widened and she was once again surprised how easily he could throw her off balance. But, he could just as easily put her back on track.

She looked at their hands again, then met his eyes. "Yes." One word. That was it. One word and she felt like a seven year weight was lifted off her chest. He smiled and for the first time in too long of a time he looked genuinely happy. His eyes sparkled with happiness and a characteristic hint of mischief.

Before she knew what was happening, the colonel had pulled her too her feet. She didn't feel the cold concrete, all she could feel was warmth. They were standing closer than they had ever stood before. "Are you sure?" he asked her softly, faces only inches apart. He didn't now how, but they were standing flush against each other. You couldn't slide a piece of paper between them if you tried.

"I'm usually a very cautious person." She said, eyes glowing with happiness and life.

Jack smiled. "It's a good thing I'm not." Without waiting for a reply he took her face in his hands and kissed her. She relaxed into it immediately. She put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He dropped one hand and wrapped it around her back, the other stayed on her cheek, gently stroking her skin.

They broke apart and Sam laid her head on his chest, arms going around his back. She took comfort in the steady beat of his heart. He wasn't leaving. He wouldn't leave.

Jack laid his chin on the top of her head ad held her tightly. This is what it was supposed to be like. What it would always be like. "Carter…if I tell you something…"

"Yes sir." She said, knowing that he didn't need to finish.

"I love you." His voice was low. Sam tightened her arms around him and smiled into his shirt. She could feel his heart beat faster as he admitted what they had always denied. Her own pulse quickened as she opened her mouth.

"I love you too." She said into his chest and felt his arms reflexively tighten. She pulled back, but kept one hand over his heart, unwilling to stop feeling it's constant pulse.

He kissed her again and rested his forehead on hers. "Seven years. I've waited seven years to do that." He said in disbelief. "I never would have described myself as a patient man…"

"You're not." Sam said laughing. He laughed too.

"No, I'm not." He agreed. Sam pulled back and met his eyes.

"So…what now?" Sam asked, knowing it was possibly the most cliché question in the world.

"We talk to the general." Jack answered immediately. When she gave him a surprised glance, he shrugged. "I've thought about this before."

"Apparently." She grinned. "Daniel and Teal'c first?"

"I think they already know." He hesitated. "In fact, I think _everyone_ already knows."

"Kinda seems that way." Sam said thinking back to how they had all had _somewhere_ to be.

"Shall we?" he asked. Sam nodded. He held out his arm. "After you."

Sam took his outstretched hand and wrapped it around her own. "I wanna see the looks on their faces when we walk in like this." She grinned mischievously.

"Why, Carter…I've never seen this side of you before." Jack said as they walked out of the infirmary. People stared as they passed, hand in hand. Some clapped quietly others whispered, "I told you so." One or two were even passing money to someone. But all were smiling.

"I think we underestimated _everyone_." Sam said smiling as people watched them pass.

"Yeah…"Jack said, also smiling. "They're just jealous."

Sam laughed and leaned into him as they walked. This was their time. They knew that whatever happened they had the support of their friends and each other. It was time for a new chapter in their lives…and they were damn sure gonna write it together.

**The End**

**A/N: School is in, folks…damn. Please R&R!!**


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